A Holiday Gift
Dec 23, 2019
A Holiday Gift.
For many people Xmas and the holidays is the best part of the year and something that you are longing for all year, for me on the other hand it is one of the hardest times of the year for me. There are so many old, old painful stories around Xmas I have that it becomes a big issue for me each year, it is like a big painful bandaid that I rip off every year and so much comes up for me. I see it like I am releasing more and more pain that I have been carrying around from and early age.
So what is it that triggers me and so many others?
Why are we reacting the way that we do?
Why is it so hard to shift that old story that we carry around?
These are some of the questions that I have been asking myself the past few weeks.
Why can’t I just enjoy Xmas and the holidays as much as everyone else?
When I feel pain I see it as a teacher, what is the emotions that come up for me? What is it that I should learn, what is it with all the feelings that I’m realizing that I should look at from a different angle?
Instead of wondering why I do not have the amazing “Hallmark” memories of Xmas and the holidays that you are “supposed” to have according to movies, commercials and so on, how can I see what they have taught me about myself?
The way I see it is that the emotions that comes up for me is things that I’m ready to let go of, it has served its purpose and I can let it go, say a blessing and then I have room to rewrite that old story that I had been carrying with me.
My view on the human experience that we have on this planet is that I came here by choice, our soul gets a chance to pick our parents and what type of life that we are going to have.
Even though I have been through a lot in my lifetime, every single experience have helped me become who I am today and for that I see every step, good or bad, that I have walked on this planet as a blessing.
So if you feel that it is painful to be able to go home for Xmas, how can you see your family and friends for who they are, they are probably doing their best to show up in their best way. If you could look through their eyes and see how they are viewing the world, with all their emotional baggage they have, they are probably just stepping up in their best version of themselves.
Sometimes it might be that you wish that they were different, remember then that we can never change the way people are showing up in the world, you can never force a way of being on them, you can just change the way that you see them and you can only change your own expectations of who they are.
The only way for it to become less painful for you is if you decide to start to release some of the pain and start to look at life in a new way. How can you start to look at life with more joy, how can you see positive things in every moment?
Because that is really what life is all about, becoming more and more present in all the moments of life, and try to do the best of all situations.
Where is the joy in your morning coffee, in receiving a Xmas gift that you didn’t really want, in traveling to your holiday experience, in the grey weather, in seeing that person in the family that you barely can stand being in the same room as?
Try to see the joy in that you show up for others to make their day more joyful.
Why should we try to see joy in all things?
Well happiness is something that comes from the inside, it is an internal state, something that we have to practice and it is something that is like a habit for us.
It is an internal game that you can start to play for yourself, how can you start to look at life in a more joyful state?
Because all the things on your Xmas wish list, all the stuff that you “need” to have, will they really give you true internal joy and happiness that will flow from you?
So my holiday gift to you is how can you stop and be present in the now, be grateful for every moment of your life and if you are anything like me, where you get triggered by the holidays, then how can you start to look at it from another angle? How can you look at life in a new positive and joyful way?
Lots of love, Ann-Marie (& Andy)